


Ledge Of Love

by roryprilla



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alternate Ending, Between Seasons/Series, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-25 17:02:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roryprilla/pseuds/roryprilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel of my previous fanfiction, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/927256/chapters/1802711">How To Relate</a></p>
<p>’And only with her existence, Cora also taught me that I should never waste my time on things I don’t enjoy. Because to be honest, I’m just an ordinary human being... I’m not able to tell you which is the last minute of my life. None of us do ever know in which moment will we be touched by the eternity.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He told Stiles he didn’t want a big funeral for his little sister. Most of the people of Beacon Hills already thought she was dead since the fire, like Derek thought himself until some months ago. As he tied his tie he kept thinking about not going. He didn’t want to because he thought it would just show that he accepted his loss, that his sister never comes back. But Cora died in the hospital and Derek knew people needed the surface. He knew his little sister wasn’t in the coffin but since she passed away in a room full of doctors and nurses, they needed to act like she was. Though he thought that faking her funeral was disrespectful, he asked Stiles, who was always available, to help him with the organization part. And the boy did what he asked him to.  
  
When he finally arrived, he saw that only a few people were there. Mostly his pack and their relatives, like Scott’s mom and Stiles’ dad but Deaton and Morrell were there as well. And even some people from the hospital. When the priest showed up, he heard Isaac, Scott and Stiles stepping behind him. They were his moral support lately. Even Allison and Lydia were there, they stood behind the boys in silence.  
  
He didn’t pay to much attention to the priest. The only line he actually heard from his speech was the one he knew. _„Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”_ Watching the priest on the podium, the sad faces of complete strangers and his sister’s fake coffin made him think about everyone he has ever lost but didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.  
  
His parents’ bodies were never found since they died in the fire. They had the ruins of their burnt house as their coffin. It was the same with some of his uncles, aunts and cousins as well. After Peter, his only uncle who survived the fire, killed Laura, his only family member who wasn’t there when the house burnt down, Derek just burried her body under a spiral but never gave her a real funeral. And now when he had to say goodbye to his last relative he loved, he realized it was not for her nor for him. It was for the town, for the people of Beacon Hills who got upset when they heard he didn’t want a funeral.  
  
After the priest finished his speech, Stiles stepped next to him and put a white rose on Cora’s casket. Derek knew the boy should’ve stepped back to the line but he just stood there, looking at the werewolf with pure empathy in his eyes. Derek just nodded when Stiles made a gesture to the podium. He couldn’t help but think about all the things the boy helped him with since Cora passed away. He organized the whole funeral, talked to the priest, found a grave next to his parents’ tomb. He took care of everything while Derek sat alone in the darkness of his loft, thinking about the past, about all the people he has lost in his life. His parents, his sisters, his betas.  
  
After school, Stiles always appeared in his flat, brought some food and sat with him in the dark room till he finally made the alpha eat something. Sometimes he kept quiet all afternoon which kind of impressed the werewolf knowing about the boy’s need of talking. But he was fine with silence. He grabbed his laptop and wrote his homework when he knew Derek needed him to stay for a little longer. Though the alpha had no idea how he knew when he needed company. And Stiles kept his word. He promised he’d help him through everything and he tried his best to make it happen. And Derek was more than grateful for him being there.  
  
’They say that if we really love someone, they’ll be with us forever’ Stiles started his speech and Derek raised his head to look at the boy, waiting for him to continue. ’Because no matter how long they’ve been gone, we’ll always have little pieces from them in us. Maybe and mostly just memories of moments we spent together. But sometimes you just realize you adopted some new habits or phrasings to your life, they had before’ the boy tried to swallow but his throat was dry. He waited a second, cleared his throat and continued. ’And they say time heals all wounds. And, in contrary to the popular belief, it doesn’t mean some day they’ll all just disappear. They won’t, believe me. They just become scars once, without noticing. Alas… no one can tell how long the healing will take.’  
  
Derek heard Allison’s sigh and remembered the people she lost. Her mother and aunt. And in that moment he realized he didn’t become furious about thinking of them. And it wasn’t because he forgot what they did and he definitely didn’t forgive. But he felt sorry for Allison, for her loss. He felt sorry for all of the present teenagers. He turned his head to Isaac and Scott and saw they were also thinking about something. Derek saw some tears streaming down Isaac’s face. He knew they weren’t for Cora but it didn’t make him mad. They were for his friends, his fellow betas, Erica and Boyd. and maybe even for his father. The alpha heard as Stiles took a deep breath as he prepared to continue his speech. ’As much as I knew Cora, she’d be annoyed by us whining over her grave. And probably she’d roll her eyes and tell me to shut my mouth’ at this part Derek stifled a laugh with a cough. He felt that everyone looked at him, so he calmly nodded towards Stiles and bowed his head. ’Though we had our little misunderstandings, I can tell that she taught me that it’s never too late. You can always choose to be something better… and that it’s worth being brave for the people who you love, to fight for them. Because once they became a part of you, they’ll be forever. They are those people around you who just accept you for who you really are’ he stopped again and looked at his friends. Derek was pretty sure Scott nodded behind him. Then Stiles looked him in the eye and tried to smile reassuringly. ’And only with her existence, she also taught me that I should never waste my time on things I don’t enjoy. Because to be honest, I’m just an ordinary human being... I’m not able to tell you which is the last minute of my life. None of us do ever know in which moment will we be touched by the eternity.’  
  
Stiles bowed his head and left the podium. As he walked back to his friends, he stopped in front of Derek and patted his shoulders. The werewolf smiled at him gratefully for a moment but then he remembered when on his parents’ funeral some unknown relative did the same and he shuddered. Stiles looked at him with incomprehension in his big brown eyes and stepped to his friends. Derek shook his head to banish the bad memory but it was too late.

_Laura was standing next to him in a way too long black dress and with a terrifyingly straight expression on her face. She didn’t cry, just watched the ten empty coffins going under. Ten because Peter, as the only known surviver of the fire, was in the hospital, hovering between life and death._  
 _Derek knew his sister was broken. She might could handle the pain of growing up from one minute to another and becoming the guardian of a teenage boy. But losing their mother changed her, she became serious and reticent. The woman has been the only reason she liked being a werewolf, she’s taught her how to handle her werewolf side succesfully even around full moon. And she felt she failed her. She felt she was not good enough to raise an angry and depressed senior boy in a town both of them lost their family, while trying to deal with her newly found extra powers as an alpha and her growing guilt._  
 _After the funeral and Derek’s graduation, they moved to New York and she forbade him to take advantage on any of his supernatural skills. Though she did that, she had to. In the daytime she worked in a coffee shop and in restaurants and bars in the evenings. She wanted her brother to have opportunities she never had, so after she save enough money, she made Derek go to college._  
  
Derek shook his head as he stepped in the loft and closed the door behind himself. He couldn’t stop thinking about his older sister who tried everything to make him feel comfortable and loved, and how sad it would make her to see him as the angry and frustrated adult he became.


	2. Chapter 2

Derek couldn’t sleep in the last few days so it took him a bit by surprise when he woke up for a similar voice calling his name. As he opened he eyes, he saw Stiles let himself in, with a key Derek didn’t know he had. The boy brought some food and his laptop. The werewolf didn’t know how long he was sleeping but it was dark outside and his arm, he laid on, was asleep.  
  
’Why are you here?’ he asked as he sat up on the couch.  
  
’Good to see you too, sour wolf’ the boy said with a light smile on his face. ’I came to feed you… at least that’s what I told Scott and the others when they tried to stop me. I just didn’t think it’s a good idea for you to be alone right now. I mean tonight.’  
  
’I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about me’ Derek said when the boy gave him the pizza box. ’Thanks for the food! But I think you should go home and get some sleep. You didn’t really have the opportunity lately. Mostly because of me. Now I can take care of myself.’  
  
’I’m not leaving’ Stiles shook his head and sat down next to the werewolf with some spring rolls and sesame seed chicken on his plate. ’Not until you eat. And there’s something I should’ve told you before but maybe now is the time. And it’s definitely better if I tell you before you see it yourself. In case you finally decide to leave this wonderful loft of self-reproach.’  
  
’What happened?’ Derek stopped between two bites and raised his eyes to face the boy. Stiles didn’t look him in the eye, in fact he looked everywhere else but his eyes. He played with the chopsticks, poured orange juice and took up the sleeves of his shirt. After some minutes of awkward silence and pointless fumbling, Derek cleared his throat and grabbed the boy’s arm. ’I can handle it, Stiles.’  
  
’The twins came back to Beacon Hills from God-knows-where because Ethan couldn’t stand to be apart from his possible mate, who is Danny by the way. And Aiden thought that if they wanted to beat Deucalion, it’d be easier for them to help us fight him. So now it seems they left Deucalion’s pack and want to join us instead’ the boy gabbled, still without looking him in the eye.  
  
’When did they come back?’ the werewolf asked after some minutes.  
  
’They came to us four days ago’ Stiles sighed and faced the older one. He had pure regret in his eyes and Derek couldn’t decide if it was because he didn’t tell it before or because he did it now.  
  
’So you knew it since then’ his voice wasn’t threatening. Maybe a bit angry. ’Why didn’t you mention this before? You had plenty occasions.’  
  
’You really think I would bother you with things like this?’ he put down the plate and turned to the werewolf with his whole bust. ’You were mourning for Cora, damn it, you still are. I might be annoying and bothersome. But I’m not insensitive.’  
  
’And they want to join the pack?’ Derek stood up and walked to the counter.  
  
’You heard me’ Stiles nodded and swallowed a piece of chicken.  
  
’They want to join the pack after Aiden killed her?’ his eyes turned into red.  
  
The boy shook his head and slowly stood up. ’He didn’t killed her. He injured her but-’  
  
’He injured her and that’s why Jennifer had the opportunity to poison her on the first place. It was his fault’ the claws and fangs appeared too and Stiles started freaking out. ’They think I would be able to accept them as pack members? Letting them join my pack? I’d rather kill them.’  
  
’I don’t think you have a word in that. Because they don’t want to join your pack… they want to join Scott’s’ the boy said as he stepped closer. Derek raised his eyebrows and Stiles knew he didn’t understand how could the boy be the alpha of two other alphas. ’Yeah, you missed that part too. Apparently Scott’s the true alpha. At least Deaton says so.’  
  
’Good for him, bad for the twins’ Derek said with an evil smirk. He started to loose it. ’If they’re not my pack, I can kill them without regret.’  
  
’And you would declare a war against Scott, Isaac and me as well? There are rules in Werewolf World you know more than I do’ Stiles put a hand on Derek’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes, they were hazel again. ’And I know you’re not able to kill anyone without regret.’  
  
’Why would you think that?’ the werewolf asked as he glared at him but his voice sounded relieved.  
  
’Because I know you. You’re not a monster’ the boy answered with ease and walked back to his food. ’And because your life motto is _„I’m a predator but I don’t have to be a killer.”_ ’  
  
’You know I killed before’ he replied and watched him nodding.  
  
’Yeah, right’ Stiles said with his mouth full of chicken. ’You killed _Peter_ and he came back from dead. I wouldn’t say it was a succesful mission.’  
  
’Not just him’ Derek shook his head and walked to the window. ’I even killed people I loved.’  
  
’Correct me if I’m wrong. But as far as I can remember, it was _Kate Argent_ who used you and then murdered your entire family. You can’t blame yourself for what she did’ the boy turned to him.  
  
’I wasn’t talking about them’ Derek bowed his head.  
  
’You meant _Paige_ …’ Stiles realized and shook his head. ’Her death wasn’t your fault either.’  
  
’How do you-’ he started but the boy interrupted.  
  
’Peter told us about why your eyes were blue as a beta and not yellow-ish like… uuum Scott’s’ Stiles said and waited for him to say something.  
  
’It’s because I killed an innocent’ Derek nodded. ’I was selfish and reckless. And she died.’  
  
’You were sixteen and not the one who bit her. It wasn’t your fault’ Stiles protested.  
  
’She accepted me as a werewolf and I couldn’t her as a _human_ ’ the older one faced him after the last word. His eyes were full of guilt. ’I might wasn’t the one who killed her but I was the reason she died.’  
  
’Look, obviously I didn’t know her. But I’m pretty sure she’d think you’re wrong’ the boy said. ’And I know you think that every bad that ever happened is because of you. I get it. But it’s just a series of _really_ bad luck. And it’s _not your fault_.’  
  
’Everyone dies around me’ the werewolf replied dryly. ’Humans, werewolves and even emissaries.’  
  
’The situation is not as bad as it seems, you know’ seeing Derek’s questioning eyes Stiles sighed. ’Deaton’s alive, Scott and Isaac are too. I’m alive as well.’  
  
’Yet’ the werewolf bowed his head.  
  
’Why? Are you planning on kill us? Or just me?’ though he asked it with a smile, the boy took a step back.  
  
’Of course I’m not. But everyone who’s important to me gets hurt. Don’t tell me you still don’t get it’ Derek answered and walked back to the couch.  
  
’Did I hear well what you just said? I’m important to you?’ Stiles laughed and sat down next to him. ’I’m flattered.’  
  
’You have serious problems with your priorities’ the werewolf said and he tried really hard to cover a smile. The boy just looked at him with a mixed emotion of disbelief and joy in his eyes and a twitch in the corner of his mouth. ’You helped me through the last week. It’s a natural reaction from me to care about someone who might help me again. Keeping you alive is the part of my self-preservation mechanism. The question is why you cared about me on the first place.’  
  
’Believe it or not… that’s what friends do’ Stiles shrugged.  
  
’So you think we’re _friends_ ’ Derek said, it was between a question and a statement.  
  
’We might be. I mean we are _something_ ’ the boy answered with a smile.  
  
’You’re a pack member and I’m an alpha. That’s what we are’ the older one replied with a sneer.  
  
’First of all, I’m not a werewolf. I don’t feel the bond like Isaac does’ Stiles was a bit hurt so as he always does, he expressed his displeasure. ’And second… I know you are an alpha but you’re not mine. You said it yourself. If I’m in anyone’s pack, it’s probably Scott’s.’  
  
Derek shook his head when he realized the bitterness in the boy’s voice. ’Even they think that you are my pack’s stepmother.’  
  
’Well, Scott has his own pack so he might change his mind about it’ Stiles said dryly. ’Though it’s cute that you refer me as your _partner_ … in pack terms. I mean.’  
  
’When did I say that? It's like calling yourself my _work-husband_ ’ Derek raised his hands and showed quotation marks at the last word. ’…in pack terms.’  
  
’Is it just me or you felt the tension too?’ Stiles leaned to the older one.  
  
’God, Stiles! How can you be so frustrating?’ Derek asked and sat back.  
  
’It’s funny, I would say you’re the frustrating one’ the boy shrugged and smiled at him. ’With your territory marking madness.’  
  
’What territory marking madness?’ the werewolf raised his eyebrows.  
  
’You kidding with me? You really didn’t realize?’ Derek shook his head and Stiles laughed out loud. ’You were practically trying to convince me to leave Scott for you. I mean his pack for yours. You should control your werewolf-self because it can lead to serious issues, _buddy_.’  
  
’Don’t call me _buddy_ , Stilinski’ the older one said madly and grabbed the collar of the boy’s shirt.  
  
’Should I call you _mate_ then?’ he asked with a smirk but when he realized what he just said he started to shake his head. ’I didn’t mean like _that_ mate. Not like _that_.’  
  
Derek pulled him closer and he did the _eyes-lips-eyes triangle_ in perfect sync with Stiles. He remembered they had done that before and as he looked him in the eye, he would be sure the boy recalled the same memory. ’I’m so going to regret this’ he said and he closed his eyes when his lips touched Stiles’. He reacted immediately and exhaled with a loud moan as he kissed him back. The boy seemed a bit unexperienced but really enthusiastic. After some minutes of barely breathing, they started to see weird patterns but didn’t want to let each other go because they were afraid of what might happen after they open their eyes.  
  
Lastly it was Stiles who broke the kiss and pulled back. ’I think I should go.’  
  
Derek nodded and watched the boy as he grabbed his laptop and left the loft in a minute. He didn’t look back at him, only when he closed the door behind him. The werewolf knew he stood at the other side of the door for a while because he heard his unbelievably fast heartbeats, which were in perfect sync with his own. After ten minutes he calmed down and heard as Stiles started the engine of the jeep. He cleaned the table, put the food in the fridge and walked back to the couch. He couldn’t sleep all night because he kept thinking about how bad idea was it for him to be alone, especially that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Stiles sat in his jeep in the front of the Stilinski household with his thumb over the speed-dial button which belonged to Derek. He couldn’t decide if he should’ve gone back to the loft or just called him with some unquestionably made-up reason. What stopped him to call is the fact that Derek had the opportunity to stop him. He stood outside the loft for minutes and he could’ve gone after him if he wanted to. But he hasn’t. And Stiles was way too afraid to step back and say something. And maybe the werewolf was afraid too. Or maybe he regretted it in the moment he leaned to him, like he said it before. There was a lot of options Stiles didn’t dare to think about so he put back the phone into his pocket and left the jeep.  
  
He knew his father wasn’t home yet because the lights were all off and of course the cruiser wasn’t there either. As he walked to the kitchen to cook something his father would be able to eat when he got home, he found a note on the counter from him about not coming home all night. Stiles knew this meant he had a date with Melissa from the brief letter. It would be more detailed if it was about a new crime scene or something similar.  
  
Since he wasn’t hungry, he decided to leave the cooking part to the next day. He walked upstairs to his room, opened the window and when to the bathroom. After having a refreshing shower, he brushed his teeth and without turn up the light, he went back to his room.  
  
’Hello, Stiles’ he heard a familiar voice and as he reached to the lamp, someone grabbed his arm. ’I wouldn’t do that. What if someone sees us?’  
  
’God, I hope that’s not a possibility. That would mean the number of stalkers in Beacon Hills is on rise’ the boy said with a sigh. ’What do you want?’  
  
’We need to talk about something’ the other one replied and sat down on the chair at the desk.  
  
’About the pack thing?’ Stiles guessed and he saw as his guest shook his head.  
  
The werewolf cleared his throat and swallowed. ’The _other_ one.’  
  
’The mate thing’ the boy nodded and smiled. ’What about that?’  
  
’It that possible for me to have a human as a mate?’ the guest asked quietly. ’I mean I’m an alpha.’  
  
’I told you everything I know’ Stiles responded fretfully but after some minutes he sighed and continued, though he hated quoting himself. ’ _The mate doesn't have to be a werewolf. Since you can turn people and don't have to make were-babies._ ’  
  
’Yeah, I remember. You already said that’ the werewolf nodded but still waited for the human to say something else.  
  
They sat in perfect silence for a while but then Stiles realized what the other one really wanted to know. He was just afraid to ask. ’And that’s why the gender doesn’t matter either.’  
  
’You sure?’ the werewolf sighed relieved.  
  
’That’s the thing about being mates. It’s actually just being in love in werewolf terms. Or maybe a bit stronger since it’s practically about destined to be together’ the boy smiled. ’And love is not about gender. It’s about _emotions_.’  
  
’Thank you, Stiles. This means a lot’ the werewolf stood up and walked to the boy.  
  
’Any time, Ethan’ Stiles shook the reached hand and smiled. ’Good luck with your date tonight!’  
  
’Thanks’ the alpha smirked and jumped out of the window. ’Good night!’  
  
’Yeah, you too!’ he nodded and laid back on his bed. But he couldn’t sleep no matter how hard he tried to. After half an hour of pointless counting of sheeps, Stiles decided to turn on his laptop and watch a movie. He didn’t know what it was about because he really didn’t pay too much attention to it. He just didn’t want to stay alone with his wandering thoughts. His phone was in his hand and he looked at it in every five minutes, like he was waiting for a call. Half of the movie went down and he still didn’t know what was the genre or who were the actors in it. He told himself it was because he was exhausted but he knew it wasn’t. He couldn’t put Derek out of his head and it made him confused. After long minutes of pensiveness, he decided to call him. The dialing was interrupted by an incoming call from Scott.  
  
’We have a serious problem and I need you to come here as fast as you can’ the werewolf said instead of greeting.  
  
’Where do I have to go and what should I bring?’ the boy asked as he dressed.  
  
’Come to the cinema. Don’t need anything’ the other one responded. ’Just hurry!’  
  
’Be there in ten minutes’ Stiles replied and hung up before his friend could tell anything else. He ran to his jeep and buttoned up his shirt as started the engine. Less than five minutes later he parked in the parking lot of the old cinema. He saw Danny’s car and Scott’s bike and he heard as his best friend yelled at someone. He rushed behind the building and saw a really angry Derek facing Ethan, Aiden and Scott, behind them Isaac helping up Danny from the ground. All of them were in their werewolf-form, though the twins didn’t become the huge alpha they usually do.  
  
’They belong to my pack now, Derek’ Scott shouted and stepped in front of them. ’You can’t do this. Please, can we discuss it later?’  
  
’There’s nothing we have to discuss. He killed my sister, I’ll kill his brother’ the werewolf said easily like they were talking about weather.  
  
’You know I won’t let that happen’ the young alpha replied. He looked back and waved Isaac to take Danny away from the lot. As they left the others wolfed-out and stood in a guard.  
  
Derek stepped closer and even so far from them, Stiles could see as his eyes turned into bright red. ’You know you can’t stop me.’  
  
’He might can’t. But I _can_ ’ Stiles said as he walked closer. ’And please stop being so dramatic.’  
  
Everyone turned to him with surprise but it was Derek who first realized the boy was actually there. ’Go home, Stiles! None of us want you to get hurt.’  
  
’I hoped so’ he sighed and stopped between the werewolves. ’Can someone please tell me what just happened?’  
  
’That is none of your business’ the older one growled but his fangs were gone.  
  
’After I came from you, I went to Danny’s to take him to the date we talked about before. So him and I drove here and watched a movie. And after it finished we waited for Aiden to meet us here because we wanted to eat something’ Ethan explained. ’But when Aiden showed up, Derek suddenly appeared from nowhere and started to talk about how my brother caused the death of his sister. When Danny went to him to tell him to stop, he pushed him and he fell.’  
  
’But fortunately we were talking on the phone with Aiden’ Scott continued. ’So I came here with Isaac before anything bad happened. And when we got here I called you. And you know the rest.’  
  
’Is there anything you want to add to the story, Derek?’ the boy turned to the werewolf. He was his normal self again and he shook his bowed head. ’You know you have some serious anger management issues we have to work on, don’t you?’  
  
’It’s not okay, Stiles. You can’t always be there when he loses it’ Aiden said angrily. ’He threatened my brother.’  
  
’It won’t happen again, I promise. You don’t have to worry’ the boy answered with a tired smile.  
  
’He threatened him’ the alpha repeated. And defensively stepped closer to Ethan.  
  
’I _said_ it won’t happen again’ Stiles responded. ’Now go home. It’s late.’  
  
Scott nodded and smiled at his friend. Isaac walked back from where he went with a shocked Danny. Ethan walked to help him, right before he collapsed. The werewolf grabbed him and took him to his car with his brother behind. They drove away after a few minutes, Stiles saw a relieved Ethan and a pretty confused Danny on the back seat hugging and a quite mad Aiden behind the wheel.  
  
Isaac sneaked out from the shades and stopped behind Scott. Even for Stiles, it was obvious who he chose as his alpha. The beta didn’t looked Derek in the eye like he was afraid of what he might see. ’If you need help with training, you know where to find me’ that was all what Derek said and Isaac sighed in relief. He nodded and followed Scott to his bike. When they were out of the hearing distance, he turned to the boy next to him. ’Never do this again. You could’ve get hurt.’  
  
’And you’re the one who tells me this?’ the younger one faced him with disbelief. ’How did you imagine your little revenge? You thought you could kill _alpha_ Aiden, _alpha_ Ethan, _true alpha_ Scott and _beta_ Isaac? That’s four against one. Bad chances’ the teenager pushed him when he realized what was his actual purpose. ’You wanted to be _killed_ by them!’  
  
’You can’t understand this’ Derek shook his head and smiled.  
  
’You say so?’ the boy asked and punched him in the face, though he regretted it immediately because he knew it hurt him more than it hurt the alpha. But at least it took him by surprise and stopped smiling. ’You know I lost people I loved too. And I went through this with _you_. So shut up and get in my car! I drive you home and cuff you to the couch if I have to.’  
  
’You’re not responsible for me, Stiles’ Derek replied and started walking away. ’You don’t have to do this.’  
  
’And look at me, I still do! Does this say something to you?’ the boy asked with a sneer. ’And I didn’t ask you to sit in my car. I _told_ you to. You know at this point I’d happily drive through you and then tuck you into my jeep.’  
  
Derek raised his eyebrows and walked to the car. He waited for Stiles to sit in too and when the boy started the engine, he faced him with a light smile. ’Thanks for coming.’  
  
’Any time, you _jerk_ ’ Stiles answered dryly but he was unbelievably relieved they were alright and in one piece. Though the moon was bright, he night seemed dark. And the silence started to become really awkward after a few minutes. None of them said anything else on the way to the loft, though he knew he should’ve and he was sure Derek wanted to. When he stopped in the parking lot, he saw the werewolf opened his mouth to say something but finally he shook his head and left the car. The boy watched him walking in the building and started to smile when the older one turned back for a minute from the door. ’ _If you want to play, let’s play!_ ’


	4. Chapter 4

’I really think we should talk about what happened’ Stiles stepped in to the loft and closed the door behind himself. Derek sat on the couch and read a book but when the boy came in, he lifted his eyes to him. He made place next to him on the sofa but the boy decided to sat up on the counter instead sitting next to the werewolf.  
  
’You want to talk? Talk!’ Derek said with a sweeping gesture and nodded. Stiles swallowed and suddenly the buttons on his phone became incredibly interesting. The werewolf waited for him to answer but he didn’t even look at him. ’I thought it’s important.’  
  
’If it’s so easy for you maybe you should start’ the boy snorted. The older one didn’t reply so he nodded and put down the phone. ’I thought so.’  
  
’I don’t know what you want to talk about. I already thanked you for coming to the cinema. I lost it and you helped came back’ the alpha sneered. ’I hope you’re happy.’  
  
’Let me understand what you just said’ Stiles said and pitched the bridge of his nose. ’I was your anchor, right? Like Allison was Scott’s after he turned.’  
  
’Don’t take yourself so seriously’ the boy raised his eyebrows at that. ’The situation wasn’t that bad.’  
  
’Which part of the _situation_ are you talking about? Where you attacked Danny and threatened two alphas from Scott’s pack or where you turned into some suicidal idiot and wanted to be killed by four teenage werewolves?’ he asked and jumped down from the counter. He started to walk around in the room while talking. ’What do you think would happen if they killed you? Except for you, being permanently dead. I don’t know if you have ever realized but death doesn’t happen to you. It happens to everyone around you, to the people standing at your funeral. Okay, I have to admit that _maybe_ it wouldn’t be such a big deal for Ethan and Aiden. But for Scott and Isaac... They are teenagers for God’s sake! What do you think how much death can they bear before they lose their minds?’  
  
’I didn’t think of that’ the werewolf answered under his breath and bowed his head. The sneer disappeared from his face.  
  
’Of course you didn’t!’ Stiles yelled at him. ’Because you’re an arrogant, self-centred jerk who is also a coward. I don’t even know how you manage this personality. And since when do you think that getting yourself killed is much easier than facing the problem?’  
  
’Because you know so much about that’ Derek became furious and stood up. ’You’re so _good_ at facing your problems.’  
  
’Oh, no! You’re so not gonna blame this on me’ the boy shook his head. ’But if you really want me to, I can face my problems. It’s _you_ being a coward… I get it, okay? I do. You were freaked out and desperate and alone and you just wanted to connect with someone to feel that you’re not on your own. And since I was the one who came here, it was me who you connected with. It’s alright, you didn’t mean it. _Wonderful_. I can handle it, much worse things happened to me before-’  
  
’I don’t even know what you’re talking about!’ the werewolf shouted at him. ’Why do you even care? Why are you even here? You’re not my pack, you’re not my friend. We have nothing to do with each other.’  
  
’That’s exactly what I was talking about’ Stiles nodded and stopped behind the couch. ’Why do you always want to play the hero if you don’t even have the courage to be one when the time comes?’  
  
’What is that supposed to mean?’ the werewolf looked at him from the other side of the couch. ’Don’t answer, I actually really don’t care. Get out and leave me alone!’  
  
’Is this the _only_ thing you can say?’ the boy asked derisively. ’When I don’t act the way you think I should or say something you don’t agree with, you just dismiss me. But _surprise_ , you can’t control everything!’ he shouted at the half confused, half impressed alpha and then sighed to calm himself down. ’I know you’re a control freak because everything you’ve been through. And I know you’re afraid of giving a chance to something you don’t understand. That’s why I’m leaving now. But I will come back, whether you like it or not. I promised I will help you through this, and I’m not interested in backing down. So good night, _jerk wolf_!’  
  
Derek watched Stiles leaving again and he felt inexplicably empty. It felt like sitting in the Nemeton with Paige’s body in his arms and listening to her last heartbeats. Though he knew the boy didn’t die, he just left and somehow it hurt him even more. Paige didn’t leave him because she wanted to, she didn’t have a chance to decide. The werewolf shook his head because comparing Stiles to the girl just felt wrong in so many ways, although it made sense in one very twisted way. They were both incredibly smart, caring and brave. And they were both in life threatening danger every time they were around him. They were terrifyingly mortal. The recognition scared Derek and before he could realize what he was doing, he already fished his phone out of his pocket and dialed Stiles. After some moments of silence the phone on the counter started to buzz. He cancelled the call and walked to the cell, a smile passed over his face when he glanced at the screen, put the mobile into his pocket next to his own and after grabbing his leather jacket, he left the loft as fast as he could.  
  
  


****

# *******

 

Stiles was driving around in the town till about one in the morning but when he almost fell asleep behind the wheel, he decided to go home. The neighborhood was still and silent and after he parked down, he realized he’s left his window wide open when he hurried away before. He didn’t mind because he loved lying in his warm bed when the room was cool. He locked the jeep and slowly walked to his room with barely opened eyes. He found his laptop on his desk, though he didn’t even remember switching it off. He already took off his jeans and started to unbutton his shirt when he saw someone sitting up on his bed.

’Two werewolves in one night? When did I become this popular to the supernatural creatures?’ he asked and stopped with the undressing process. Derek handed him his phone and smiled apologetically. ’This could’ve waited. I’m not planning on call anyone in the middle of the night. But umm… thanks.’

’I tried to call you after you left’ the alpha explained and stood up. ’And when I realized you left it on my counter, I thought I should put it somewhere you would find it if you decided to come back when I’m not home. But then I saw the screen and the next moment I was leaving the loft.’

’I wanted to call you’ Stiles nodded and bowed his head. ’Right before Scott called me and told about a _serious problem_. Which was you, by the way’ he pointed at him and raised his eyebrows, Derek just smirked. ’I already dialed when the phone started ringing. And then I was just too busy to quit.’

’You were right’ the werewolf sighed and sat back on the bed.

’Say something I didn’t know’ the boy said and followed him. ’But which one are you talking about?’

’You were my _anchor_ ’ Derek faced him and smiled. ’I just didn’t realize until you said it.’

’I know. I saw your face’ Stiles laughed and nodded. ’It was hilarious.’

’I can imagine’ the alpha sighed again and bowed his head. They sat in complete silence for minutes but this time it wasn’t awkward at all. The boy stretched, yawned and picked up the bottom of his PJs. He saw Derek was thinking and didn’t want to interrupt so he sat to his desk and turned on his laptop. When he heard him moving, he turned back to the older one to see what he was about to do. The werewolf was lying on his bed, with his arms and Stiles’ pillow under his head. He loudly cleared his throat and faced Stiles. ’So Danny and Ethan are mates.’

’At least Ethan thinks so’ Stiles nodded. ’That’s why he wanted to tell Danny about the werewolf thing sooner or later and he asked for my help. Because, you know, usually I’m kinda good with words. But you were the one who helped him this time and poor Danny seemed really shocked. I’d like to be there when Ethan starts to explain him. Though I think he’ll be okay with it, since he was Jackson’s best friend. He probably got used to the weird stuffs.’

’But Danny’s a human’ Derek said while turning his eyes back to the ceiling.

’Accurate diagnosis, Watson’ the boy replied with a sigh. ’And I know it’s a surprise but I belong to the same species.’

’Isn’t he afraid of hurting… him?’ the werewolf asked wondering.

’That’s why he wanted to inform him about the situation. He wanted to let him choose if he wants to be a part of this world or not’ the younger one explained. ’But I think Danny can manage some bruises if he loves Ethan. Worse things happen when we play lacrosse.’

’You are mortals and it’s really easy to get hurt in these kind of relationships. Even if none of us does it on purpose’ Derek responded with a sigh. ’But it’s not the physical pain I was talking about.’

’Let’s clarify something. Are we still talking about how a werewolf can hurt a human? Or the otherwise?’ minutes went by without answering when Stiles finally realized what the other meant. ’Why do you think it won’t go well for them? Just because you had bad luck?’

’I had my own _edifying_ experiences with humans’ the alpha nodded and sat up.

’Tell me you didn’t compare us to Kate and Julia’ the boy groaned. ’We have _nothing_ in common. They were way too deep in this supernatural stuff, much older and on the top, total psychos. How can we remind you of them?’

’You don’t remind me of _them_. Though _you_ do remind me of someone else’ Stiles shook his head in disbelief when he understood. Seeing that, Derek continued a lot softer. ’Of Paige, in fact.’

’Really? Of your ex-girlfriend from high school?’ the boy ran his fingers through his hair and buried his face in his hands. ’I can’t see a possible way for us to be similar. I know a lot more than she did. _All_ of my friends are werewolves, except for Allison, who’s a _hunter_ and Lydia, who’s a _psychic_ or something.’

’So the circumstances are different. But I was talking about your personalities’ the older one said. ’She was outspoken and loyal and passionate about what she loved. And she accepted everything almost as easily as you do. She liked to care for people and make them feel better about themselves.’

’Well, I’m not her. And though I’m not sure that’s what you’re doing but if you just offered the bite, I have to tell that it’s fascinating but I still don’t want it’ Stiles shook his head. ’I said no to Peter and right now, I’d definitely say no to you too.’

’I don’t want you to be a werewolf. Not a chance. I don’t even want to think about it’ Derek blenched and waggled his head. ’And I’m _perfectly_ awared of you not being her.’

’Then what’s the problem?’ the boy asked and walked to the door. ’You want I tea? I’m dying for one.’

The werewolf lifted his head and nodded. ’I won’t kill Ethan.’

’Wise choice’ Stiles said easily and stopped before leaving the room. ’But why did you change your mind?’

’I want to see how it works for them. I might can _learn_ something new’ he whispered and Stiles couldn’t help but smile. He walked downstairs, grabbed two mugs full of hot water and put them on a salver, next to some sugar and teabags and headed back to his room. He put them on the desk and sat down on the bed. The werewolf was standing by the window, looking out of it. ’I don’t have anger management issues…’

’Yeah, I noticed that’ the boy snored. ’Why don’t you want me to be a badass werewolf, by the way? Not that I want to, I’m just curious.’

’First of all, I don’t even think your body would react to the bite’ Stiles turned his head to the alpha and raised his eyebrows. ’You can’t be two supernatural creatures at the same time and I’m pretty sure you are already one. I can sense it, we all can. That’s why Scott listens to you from the beginning and some _other_ werewolves as well. And second… You couldn’t be any more badass than you already _are_. You have remarkable instincts.’

’Was that a compliment?’ the boy laughed and bowed his head. ’But wait, you said before that I’m a human, a mortal.’

’It wasn’t a compliment, it was a fact’ Derek replied and served the flavoured tea. After handing the boy the mug, he sat down next to him. ’And I don’t remember ever saying you’re a human. I said mortal but not human. And it’s not the same.’

’So you knew this whole time that I was some kind of a _fairytale character_ and you didn’t say a word’ Stiles ran his fingers through his hair. ’You let me make jokes about it.’

’And I laughed a lot’ the werewolf nodded with a smile. ’I loved how your humor was sarcastic and ironic at the same time.’

’Good to know that I’m able to make you laugh sometimes’ the boy said and sipped. They sat in silence for a while when he decided to talk again. ’So what is that mean if Danny and Ethan manage to be in a relationship without one of them dying or turning into something he is not?’

’I don’t think it’s possible’ Derek shook his head and ducked it. ’I knew only one person in the whole werewolf world who tried to be in a relationship with a human. Except for me, of course. But he didn’t succeed either.’

’Peter?’ Stiles asked quietly and the older one nodded shortly. ’And his eyes turned into blue because of her.’

’Not just his eyes. He became aggressive and moody and selfish’ the alpha explained. ’It happened only a few months before the fire. The Argents were hunting for us so we had to hide. But Gerard found them when they wanted to run away. He wanted to shoot Peter and didn’t care about her being between the gun and him. The bullet went through her lungs but she didn’t die, she suffered. So he made a choice and she died in his arms. In that moment Peter lost it and he became the person you got to know.’

’About the fire-’ Stiles started but stopped when Derek put down the mug on the floor and turned to him. ’I just don’t understand what happened.’

’It’s easy though. But I guess you have to know the circumstances to understand the whole story’ the werewolf sighed and buried his face in his hands. ’So I let you ask anything you want to know about that night. And I promise to answer your questions if I’m able to.’

’You trust me enough to let me do this?’ the boy inquired, he was stunned. The werewolf just nodded without raising his head. Stiles was thinking about all the things he wanted to know about the mystery case. When he finished thinking through everything, he cleared his throat and sighed. ’Who were the people in the house? Why were they there? Where were you and Laura? How did Peter and Cor… umm… how did he escape? And where the hell did you meet Kate?’

Derek took some deep breath before facing Stiles. He hesitated for some minutes but finally he decided to answer. ’I met Kate right after Paige died. In the woods, to be honest. I hated to be a werewolf back then, I was afraid to be around people and to tell anyone about my secret again. But she already knew about everything when we met. I thought I could be myself with her and she let me thought that. She said she came back to town to stop Chris and Gerard from killing us. I trusted her and told her everything about everyone. Peter stopped believing her after what happened to him but I was deeply in love. At least I thought so. I asked her to be my date at the the senior prom but she said she wouldn’t be in town, so I took Laura. Her prom was a disaster so she loved the idea of going to mine, especially since it was on the night of the lunar eclipse. We didn’t have to be home with the family, meeting some relatives we’ve only seen once a year. We were just ordinary teenagers for that night and we loved every moment of it. It was the best night of my life until one of my teachers came to us and told us about the fire. I don’t even remember how we got home. We just stood in safe distance from the ruins of our burnt house and no one said anything. But the lunar eclipse was over and I could smell the death in the air’ he took a deep breath and shuddered. Stiles reached his hand and patted Derek’s knee. ’Two days later two runner found Peter in the woods a few miles away. He was taken to the hospital and I only saw him again when I came back to town after Laura’s death. I don’t know anything about Cora. I didn’t ask, she didn’t mention.’

’Look, I don’t want to be a jerk but I’m pretty sure you should stop trying with girls. It’s clearly not for you’ the boy said after long minutes of silence. Though he regretted it in the moment the words came out of his mouth because he thought it would make Derek upset. But instead becoming upset, the werewolf started to laugh and reached to hold Stiles’ hand.

’It’s so accurate it hurts’ he nodded and faced the boy. He just smiled and shook his head when he looked down at their nearly interlocking fingers. ’Like I said, painfully outspoken.’

’Just if I know I’m right’ Stiles answered and leaned closer until he felt Derek’s breathe on his skin. ’You sure you're okay with it?’

The werewolf snored and looked at his lips. ’Are _you_ sure you’re okay with it? I don’t want you to feel used. I mean you’re the teenager and I’m the adult.’

’So what?’ the boy asked jumpily. ’Cares absolutely no one here.’

’It feels bad’ the older one answered and bowed his head.

Stiles bursted out laughing. ’No, it doesn’t.’

’No, it really doesn’t’ Derek shook his head and looked back at the younger one. ’But I know it should. And I feel bad because I don’t feel bad.’

’That sounded like something I would say’ the boy smiled at him. ’But I guess I understand your point.’

’Well, I learned from the best’ the alpha nodded.

’And now I’d like to learn from the best’ he said and glanced at his lips. ’So stop talking because you’re driving me crazy.’

’You deserve it. You did the same with me for _months_ ’ Derek smirked and started stroking Stiles’ hand with his thumb.

’Just for months? You’re such a liar’ he replied with theatrical anger in his voice. The werewolf just nodded but didn’t say a word and after a yearning eyes-lips-eyes triangle, Stiles couldn’t help himself but kissed him. He kissed him with less heat than for the first time but with the same enthusiasm and though he wouldn’t think this could happen, Derek enjoyed this one even more. He cupped Stiles’ neck and pulled him closer while the boy put his hands on his face with the same purpose.

After some minutes the werewolf realized they were already lying on the bed and he was about to unbutton the younger one’s shirt. At this point he sat up and shook his head in disbelief. ’I think I should go.’

’It’s okay. My dad won’t come home tonight’ Stiles yawned and closed his eyes. ’You can stay, no need to worry.’

’I didn’t stop because I’m afraid of him’ Derek sighed when the boy looked up at him. ’I don’t want this and I don’t want you to do this either. If we do this, we’ll do this on the best way we can.’

’Are you serious?’ the teenager asked with barely opened eyes. The werewolf nodded with a serious expression on his face. ’Okay. But I won’t let you go home tonight, I just can’t. I still don’t believe I didn’t fall asleep when I first came home in the evening. I just don’t know if it’s a dream or a nightmare. So I will need you to be here when I wake up in the morning.’

’Believe me it’s not a nightmare so if it’s a dream, it’s probably mine. So I guess I can stay, I already hated feeling alone anyways’ he laid back and Stiles put his head on his chest. His shirt was fully unbuttoned so Derek carefully wrapped him with the duvet.

’I’m glad to hear that’ Stiles murmured under his breath. ’Thanks for coming tonight, sour wolf.’

Derek nodded and gently patted his shoulders. ’Thanks for make me understand.’


End file.
